This was one of the few pictures showing Totoro hanging out by himself in my room. This was one of his favourite perches, close to the window for the breeze and the warmth of the sun. I still think of him just like this. Usually on this day, Totoro and I would celebrate our day together and there would be a picture of him sniffing his birthday presents. Today of cos, his presence is here with us still. I dreamt of him some days ago that he visited me from the Bridge. I think because his Gotcha Day was so near and so I had spoken with Fern about it. Totoro, in his unruffled way, had this to say.
2. How have you been doing? How is your day like?
I am alright. Spend quite a lot of time in the sun (image: crouching by the side of the field, looking out). (he sounded very peaceful throughout the conversation)
3. How is it there where you stay?
It's quiet. Very peaceful. (image: long stretch of lawn and field, light green colour, warm sun, flat area and slightly sloping up the endless hills)
4. Have you visited your mummy and Bujang and your brothers and sister lately?
Yes, a few times.
5. Did you visit while mummy was at home or at work?
I visited when mummy was not at home. Also, another time when mummy was at home. She looked busy.
6. Your mummy wants you to know that you're most welcome to visit them as often as you want.
OK I know (he nodded and smiled a bit).
7. Do you have any idea what happened to Bujang, if you can help let me know? Is it because he's missed you a lot in the past months that's why he meows and is not so comfortable?
He's a good brother to me. I'm flattered (that he misses me). Tell him to calm down.
8. Your mummy dreamt about you twice (and I explained the dreams to him). Do you want to tell mummy anything?
Tell her I miss her too. I want to be with her.
It's not a good bye.
I know she's working very hard to look after all of us.
9. Are you going to visit mummy and your family again? Does it take much of your energy (or may it affect you somehow) if you come down here to visit them?
Yes, I will visit again. No, it doesn't take much of my energy. It's OK.
10. Do you have any friends there?
There are some cats try to talk to me when they pass by. I don't really talk to them. I am not being rude, though. I acknowledge them. But I just want to stay where I am and just be quiet and rest.
11. Is there anyone bullies you or disturbs you?
No one can bully me.
12. Do you have any pain? Do you have enough food?
We never be hungry here. No I don't have pain.
13. Thank you very much for talking to me, Totoro, you're a very good boy and a handsome boy. You take care and if there's anything you want your mummy to know, please tell me, any time.
Tell them to be safe.
Be in the light Totoro and be the light.